how I tell stories
me: and then she was like
me: and im like
me: but then shes like
me: then theyre like
me: so i was like
me: yeah like
me: i know like
It really pisses me off when parents let their...
anymannymore: Bitch, control your child before I do.
So I hear Obamacare passed.
popularpugh: harpalyce: thingsareswinging: And a whole load of Republicans are threatening to move to Canada in light of this? Should- should somebody tell them? No, no, no. Let’s let it be a surprise. lmao . a surprise .
fairygodblogger: people who have wifi but don’t know the password
Girl: but if i have a boyfriend, and i kiss a girl, does that really count as cheating?
Me: if i punch you in the face with my left fist, but i'm right-handed, does that really count as me punching you in the face
fersher: dans awf
coolcrazysexy: axelusprime: Difficulty Level: Easy > Medium > Hard > Expert > Asian HOLY FUCKIN SHIT!! This is pretty cool
Doctor: Are you sexually active?
Me: Laughs hysterically, makes pterodactyl noise, transforms into a potato and rolls out the door and away into the sunset.